Tennessee School Demands 37 Doctor Notes, Gym Teacher Issues Absentee Ruling

After gym teachers pivoted from dodgeball to note-verifying, parents discovered the school’s new policy lets a hamster-filled terrarium double as the nurse’s office. Trending: “Who decides school excused absences?” and “What if a doctor won’t write a note?” The janitor wonders if next week’s attendance will be certified by the vending machine.