Florida’s Governor signed a death warrant and casually tweeted it out like a lunch special—proving once again that in the Sunshine State, even capital punishment can get the social media treatment. Critics called it chilling; the Governor called it governance. Meanwhile, Florida Man refreshes Twitter, just in case he’s next.
Peter Navarro’s take on a shrinking US economy is the hot economic spin no one wanted. Forget Wall Street’s panic—apparently recession is the new American Dream, if you ask former White House staffers.
Why settle for bottle service when Don Jr will sell you Team Trump on tap? The latest D.C. hotspot offers exclusivity with a side of political networking—provided your wallet’s as big as your ambition.
Move over, Dan Brown—Marjorie Taylor Greene’s got Vatican conspiracies no fiction writer could dream up. The Georgia congresswoman claims Catholic bishops have their spiritual Wi-Fi set to “Satanic control.”
Who needs elected officials when you have an empty chair ready to listen? Florida constituents staged an entire town hall, grilling furniture with the kind of stubborn optimism that only democracy—or improv—can supply.
The Pentagon just got a glam squad. Move over, military briefings—there’s a new battle for flawless foundation under the fluorescent lights. Apparently, national security now includes HD-ready complexions.
Shanghai shoppers can now liquefy their gold trinkets at an ATM and watch their savings melt away—literally. This futuristic gold-melting cash machine redefines “liquid assets” and makes old VCRs look like untapped treasure chests.
A fired Disney worker hacked food menus to slip in profanities and chaos, earning himself a three-year vacation courtesy of federal prison. Turns out, the happiest place on Earth does not tolerate ‘Cheesy Shits’ with your fries.
Residents of Trang, Thailand, think Nutcha’s massive 3.8-foot dreadlock isn’t just a hair-raising sight—it’s literally haunted. Local folklore collides with flyaway follicles as “ghost hair” becomes the town’s supernatural centerpiece.
The UK’s latest nuclear project screeched to a halt after a brigade of radioactive rats decided to make it their new home. Britain’s nuclear ambitions just got upstaged by rodent squatters with a glow-in-the-dark twist.
Dubai drinkers now pay $100 for Greenlandic ice cubes in their cocktails, proving luxury knows no bounds—or logic. Greenland's new export: ancient iceberg cubes straight to your glass, climate guilt included free of charge.
Florida man arrested after snot rocket sparks domestic dispute—bodily functions officially join the list of criminal offenses.
Chinese hair salons ditch human washers for speedy AI shampooing machines that clean and rinse locks in just 13 minutes. Welcome to the future of haircare automation.
A Canadian woman's Weimaraner discovered enlightenment via scalp massage—his eyes crossed, his soul apparently left the building. Pet influencers, take note: relaxation videos just got a furry, viral contender.
