Dustin the Turkey Declares 2025 Run, Cites Michael D’s Wardrobe Swap

Dustin the Turkey, wielding 2025’s wildest Irish headline, vows to invade Áras an Uachtaráin after getting Michael D Higgins’s endorsement—and wardrobe. At Sallynoggin’s Chadwicks launch, he reveals presidential ambitions, quipping, “Dustin, you should go for it and I’ll leave my wardrobe here.” Trending queries: “Can a puppet run for Irish president?” and “What happens if Dustin wins?” collide as the carpenter-crooner insists, “I owe it to the people of Ireland.”
Riding the wave of Chadwicks hardware store glamour, Dustin’s campaign pits him against Mairead McGuinness and Catherine Connolly, fueling Google’s “Who can run for Ireland’s presidency?” frenzy. Vogue Williams, dubbed “First Lady,” gallops into the narrative with horse-racing teeth, while Dustin muses, “Sometimes you see her and you don’t know whether to snog her or throw her a bale of hay.”
In 1997, Dustin lost to Mary Robinson—but now, with Sallynoggin’s back doors (and wardrobes) left wide open, he promises to swap poems in Irish for hardware store loyalty cards.