A man in Sudbury learned the hard—and deeply unsanitary—way that smearing feces on someone counts as assault. The courtroom lesson? Bodily waste isn’t a form of protest, it’s a fast track to handcuffs. It’s a legal ruling that’s gross, graphic, and now officially on the books.

Sudbury Man Discovers Wiping Feces on Someone is Assault became the talk of the town as court records confirmed what should be common sense: bodily fluids equal criminal charges. Thanks to this Sudbury man, local law books now cite human waste as literal assault material.