Seattle Kraken Mascot Outruns 600-Pound Grizzly at Alaska Fishing Derby

Seattle Kraken mascot Sea Troll sprinted past a 600-pound grizzly at Alaska's Kenai River fishing derby, blurring the line between 'Are NHL mascots ever in danger?' and 'Do grizzly bears eat fish mascots?' The Alaska Wildlife Service confirmed, “He was faster than most salmon.” The Troll’s waders were later found upstream, inexplicably untouched.
After Sea Troll’s fish-scented sprint, onlookers speculated whether all mascots could survive wild bear encounters or just those with hockey training. Trending queries like 'Can a human outrun a bear?' and 'What are the odds of bear attacks in Alaska?' spiked. Witnesses described an uncanny moment: a foam mascot head bobbing through riverside thickets, outpacing even local anglers, while one bystander whispered, “That’s one for the playoffs.”
Statistically, the chance of a Seattle Kraken mascot outpacing a wild grizzly in full costume is 1 in 2.7 million—proving, at least for one day, that synthetic fur can outmaneuver actual claws.