Historians dispute Bayeux tapestry penis tally after lengthy debate, embroiling academia in a surprisingly intense showdown over medieval embroidery’s most infamous anatomical details. If you thought academia was dry, you've never seen scholars dissect 11th-century threadwork with this much gusto—and giggling.

In the end, the Bayeux Tapestry's 93 penises—88 equine and 5 human—are more than medieval mischief; they serve as potent symbols of power and morality. The prominently endowed horses of leaders like William the Conqueror suggest a deliberate link between virility and authority. Meanwhile, the human figures, often placed in marginal scenes, may reference Aesop's fables, conveying moral lessons about betrayal and shame. This intricate stitchwork reveals that even in the 11th century, a penis was never just a penis.