Russia’s 8-Year Metalhead Crackdown: Putin Targets Satanists With Phantom Law

Russia’s Supreme Court just sentenced heavy metal and goth fans to 8 years for phantom ‘satanism’—despite no such group existing. Trending searches include ‘What is the satanism law in Russia?’ and ‘Putin bans heavy metal 2025.’ Even Dmitry Medvedev’s Deep Purple collection now flirts with extremism. As Ivan Pavlov, a human rights lawyer, dryly asked: “Will they put people in jail for T-shirts with pentagrams and goat heads?”
Building on the Supreme Court’s imaginary crackdown, Putin’s regime is set to ban occult T-shirts, goth playlists, and even historic social media posts. Searches for ‘retroactive Russian laws’ and ‘can you be jailed for satanic imagery?’ spike as officials warn of ‘satanic sex orgies’ haunting Moscow, while a pardoned cannibal roams free, but your Spotify playlist could land you in court.
In 2025, Russia’s legal code will retroactively criminalize not only actual satanic rituals but also archived selfies with a goat head, while Medvedev’s playlist remains uncensored.